We all have been in stressful situations such as speaking in front of a crowd, meeting the future in-laws for the first time, and of course, answering those tough job interview questions. People tell you, “Just relax, and don’t be nervous.” Easier said than done, right?

It’s impossible to be stoic when you’re doing something as important as going after a new job. My suggestion is to acknowledge that there are situations when you will be nervous, but there are also strategies that can help you manage that stress and still do very well in a job interview.

Last week I was in awe of an 11-year-old girl, Lucy Li, who played in the Women’s U.S. Open golf championship and how she handled the pressure. I’m sure you can appreciate what this experience must have been for such a young girl. How’d she handle the stress? You be the judge:

After her first round — a 78 on a very, very difficult golf course — she was to be interviewed by reporters. Despite her parents’ disapproval, Lucy showed up for the interview eating an ice cream cone. “Who wouldn’t want an ice cream cone after spending five hours on the golf course?” she said. A reporter asked her why she wore a red, white and blue outfit to which she replied “Duh, it’s the U.S. Open.” Her perspective echoed her belief that it was a great experience that she was going to enjoy. I’ll try my best and the results will take care of themselves.

Job interviews are stressful because people are afraid of making a mistake. They dread the idea of walking out of the interview and thinking, “I lost the job because I gave a stupid answer. What was I thinking? I’m a failure!”

The best way to avoid putting your foot in your mouth is to share real stories and tell the truth. The problem with rehearsed answers is that people panic when they make a mistake. I’ve seen it happen a hundred times. The potential employee can’t remember the answer he/she rehearsed, followed quickly by more hesitation and a struggle to find the right words. You can tell it’s not real, and the interviewer’s trust in that candidate immediately begins to waiver.

Just last week I sat in on an interview with a candidate who described how she taught horseback riding to children. Passion and sincere commitment to help the children and their families shone through. Her demeanor was relaxed and authentic when she described her experiences with the kids. No nerves were evident because it was a true description of who she was and what she believed. That story became a critical piece of the puzzle.

When it comes to job interviews, I believe people get nervous and make mistakes when they try to portray something they are not. If your story is an exaggeration or you attempt to tell the interviewer what you think they want to hear, you’re headed down the wrong path.

It’s not possible to be perfect in a job interview. Every candidate will say something that can be interpreted differently by different people. When you describe a time when you held your tongue to avoid a conflict, some managers will respect your self-restraint while others may view that as a weakness. If you interview with more than one manager in the same company are you going to change your answer based on that person’s perspective? The correct answer is no.

One approach may be to silence your opinion during an interview, but I think this strategy fails more than it succeeds. In a job interview there is only one winner and riding the middle of the road isn’t good enough. Yes, there’s a risk to telling the truth, but your goal is to be that one person who gets the job. Being safe will leave you in the middle of the pack.

If you enter an interview intending to be honest, there’s no reason to be nervous. There’s no reason to fear making a mistake. Your answers aren’t going to change based on who’s asking the questions. I can’t guarantee you’ll get the job, but I believe you won’t be as nervous if your stories are authentic and real. Take a deep breath and feel comfortable showing your new bosses who you really are. Impress them. If they like you, you’ve got the job. If not, I’d recommend that you continue looking for a better fit.

Bill Kaminski is president of Stone Associates Training. He is an HR consultant with 35 years of experience in the employment field, teaching managers the art of hiring great employees. He also is an adjunct instructor at Keuka College. You can contact him with your questions,

suggestions and comments at www.bill@stoneassociatestraining.com