DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend took me to my prom this past
weekend, but he was a real drag. He and I have been dating for
about a year. We usually have fun, and he either treats me or we
split the costs. For my prom — my big, big night — he didn’t spend
one dime. Well, he rented his tux, but he even told me that I had
to pay for the flowers. Now, it’s not a finance thing. He and his
family have plenty of money. It’s crazy. I don’t get it. We had
talked about everything beforehand, including the cost of things,
and he sounded down for everything. And then he never opened his
wallet. All the rest of us pitched in for the limo and for the
various things we spent money on — except him. What gives? How
should I handle this? I feel betrayed. — Lindy, Scarsdale, N.Y.

Dear Lindy: Shouldn’t you have paid for most of those
expenses in advance? If you never discussed specific costs and what
he would be expected to pay, that might be why he didn’t assume he
would have expenses. But the date normally pays for the boutonniere
and corsage. He’s your boyfriend. You should ask him straight up
why he didn’t help pay. Even though it may seem awkward, if you
don’t talk, it will likely fester and you will stay mad or
disappointed with him. Find out why he broke form and if it means
anything about your relationship.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am so upset. I have had perfect credit, never
late on a bill or anything. I have been working for about 15 years.
I do have credit cards and I lease a car. I have been extremely
responsible in part because my parents were irresponsible when I
was growing up. Then I got into a car accident and have been out on
disability for about two months. I can’t work yet, and the bills
are piling up. I feel like crying. I don’t want the accident to
destroy all that I’ve done to build my credit. What can I do? —
Marcia, Birmingham, Ala.

Dear Marcia: Don’t give up on yourself yet. Contact each
of your creditors immediately. Let them know what has happened to
you, and appeal for leniency. You can request that they make a
reduced-payment plan that you believe you can manage. You can even
ask for a suspension of having to pay for a few months until you
get back on your feet. Be sure to ask them not to send your
delinquency to the credit-reporting agencies. Ask them to trust you
and to work with you.

The key is remaining proactive just as you have been all
along, which is why you have stellar credit. Your creditors want to
be paid. They will truly appreciate hearing from you. You may find
that this leg of your journey is easier to navigate than you
think.

Harriette Cole is president and creative director of
Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to
askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o United Feature Syndicate, 200
Madison Ave., New York, NY 10016.